Looking Back, Looking Forward

When I was on dance team in high school my teammates and I were always together. During school we gravitated towards each other, we had two hour practices everyday after school and found each other together again on the weekends for all day rehearsals. And guess where we would be on our off time? With each other of course, usually out at the movies or a sleepover at one of our houses. And I was able to spend quality time with my friends not on dance team. I mean we had classes together and then a whole lunch time to hang out. Imagine if you had an hour a day to spend with your friends, we took it for granted when we were in school but now it sounds not only ideal but so helpful.

I was thinking about this the other day when faced with conflicting schedules by my friends. You see the thing about growing up is that we are all on our path now and it isn't anyone's fault but I feel like we don't have that extra time to nurture our friendship like we did back then. As cheesy as it sounds, I miss the sisterhood.When we have the chance to get together we are happy and everything is normal and fun as can be. But I still can't help but wish we could have more time to be with one another. It seems odd to me that something that is so critical to happiness, such as being with our friends, can get pushed aside by obligations.

I guess this is just a growing pain as they say. Things change and I guess it just becomes harder to do certain things that see people you care about. It seems like at the end of our get togethers we say "let's not let this much time go by again" and we mean it, we really do. But then one way or another a month or two goes by and life gets in the way again.

Again, I'm not saying it is anyone's fault, because we all have lives and obligations that are tugging at our pant legs. I also feel guilty because at the moment I am not making any money, zero. And so when an opportunity arises for us to go out together I have to say the most annoying words ever, "Sorry, I can't afford it". I know they don't want to hear it as much as I don't want to say it but it just doesn't get easier.

I really believe in putting things out into the universe if you want them to happen, so here it goes: I hope I start working more and make some more money so that I can not only contribute more to the household bills but also have the occasional glass of wine or lunch on a whim with my friends.

So until the universe gets back to me my apartment is open anytime for some get togethers.